{Wordless Wednesday...brought to you by the letter "C"}

...this is why I love my "C"ar (gotta love that my SUV gets 42 miles to the gallon...don't be jealous!)

...this is why I love "C"hili (it goes GREAT on top of tater tots!)...

...this ALMOST made me a vegetarian ("C"hicken anyone?)...

...and this is why I love my "C"hild (her smile is contagious...and she lets me put her bloomies on her head!)

Lesson #96 - Children Do Grow Up

I can't believe that The Babe has gone from this...

to this...

in a short 9 months!!

Where does the time go??

HAPPY 9 MONTHS!!!!!

Lesson #94 - It Pays To Be "THAT Parent"

This past Sunday was a day free of The Babe's 10am swim lesson (to see what we did on Saturday, go here). Thanks to spring break, we got the chance to stay at home and relax with The Man all day...it was nice! The Sunday before was a different story. While I always enjoy attending swim lessons, i was even MORE excited for The Babe's third class - because I actually remembered to bring my nice digital camera to take pictures!!

About half way through the class, some raging-hormonal-very angry-manager lady came running towards all of the parents who were taking pictures (I'd say there were 5 out of the class of 12) and yelled that we were not allowed to take pictures of the kids during class.

HOLD UP - WHAT?!?!

Of course you KNOW I just had to speak up. We've been taking pictures for the past 3 friggin' weeks...why are you just now telling us all about this so-called "policy"?!

The parents stopped their photo-taking (I managed to get a few more while crazy-lady wasn't looking) and after the class, The Man went up to crazy-lady to inquire about the policy. He asked why he'd never heard about it - no one in the class was ever informed of it before - and wanted her to point it out, section and line, for our review. Crazy-lady said she didn't know where it could be found, but that she only enforces the rules...though she promised to do some research and have it available for parents at this coming swim lesson on Sunday.

Thankfully, the aquatics director nipped the issue in the bum BEFORE the swim lesson on Sunday...the below email was sent to all parents (as a BCC - good move!) who have kids in the Sunday parent-and-me swim lesson...ENJOY!!

Good Evening,

My name is {embarrassed aquatics director} and I am with {your fabulous community rec center}. I write today to follow up on an incident that occurred during your recent swim class in regards to the policy on photography in our facilities. First and foremost, please allow me to apologize on behalf of the manager who incorrectly informed and enforced our photography policy with your class!

While {this rec center} and our agency [as a whole] takes reasonable efforts to prevent the exploitation of children and families partaking in our parks, this photography policy was taken out of context by the manager. We have taken corrective measures with all of our managers to prevent such an experience from occurring in the future. In short, PLEASE enjoy taking pictures and making memories of your children in their swimming classes. We look forward to them "growing up" in our learn-to-swim programs!

If you have any questions or concerns in regards to this or any area of our facility, please do not hesitate to contact me directly.

Happy Swimming
Embarrassed Aquatics Director

Oh yeah...that is right...hang your head in shame!!!

Not get a shot of this...

...you gotta be KIDDING me!!

Lesson #93 - Crowds...SUCK!!! {Wordless Wednesday}

I should have known better than to go into the city during Cherry Blossom time...

The babe had never seen them before, though, so I felt it was necessary

I don't discriminate...I hate ALL stupid people...and this weekend there was certainly not a lack of them

It was so packed that we could hardly move...well, thanks to the stroller we moved quite well actually

The monuments that are usually relatively empty - were crawling with tourists

We walked around for hours - at least 5 hours

The Babe got tired quick, though, and needed a tasty snack

After a few yummy banana puffs, The Babe was all smiles

Lesson #89 - Skinny Jeans Are For Skinny Bodies

I just LOVE (love, love, love, love) the fact that - for the most part - all of this cold weather is behind us and the gracious Mr. Sun has brought his family - Mrs. Ray, Ms .Heat, Little Birdie and Pretty Flower - out to play! I honestly don't know if I could handle any additional bad weather. My heart goes out to those in the Northeast suffering through the floods and clean-up efforts!

Anywho...this past Saturday I packed up the babe (and the man) and we all headed out to the park. Once we arrived, I looked at hubs and said, "It doesn't look like we're in Kansas anymore, Toto!" Keep in mind we had walked to our friendly neighborhood park...and there were a gazillion children around. Presumably because it was nice outside and their parents wanted them to get some fresh air...and possibly run around a larger square footage area than a kitchen. I saw things (and proceeded to point them out to the man) that I don't think I will ever get out of my head. Things that just shouldn't be done in a public area...or ANY area for that matter!!

The biggest fashion faux pas that was witnessed?? Large people wearing small clothes.

Holy heck, people!! This is a FAMILY park...public place or not...lets think of the kids, huh!! I can't believe why, or how, some of these women would force themselves to wear pieces of clothing - mostly jeans or shorts - that were CLEARLY not made to fit their current body type.

Ladies, please (for the love of all things cute and pink) put money aside for the purpose of purchasing a new wardrobe when it is necessary. Now, I am not saying that thousands of dollars need to be spent every. single. season for new clothes...although to some, that is a nice dream...what I am saying is please do not continue to wear (or TRY to wear) that same pair of skinny jeans you wore in college...because they just don't fit anymore.

Even the simple fact that they don't fit anymore isn't something to be ashamed of, either! Not at all! Seriously, look at you...you're a wife (to a pretty smokin hubs) and a mother (to some adorable little rugrats) - not a twenty-something college sorority girl looking to hook up with a frat guy. While you MIGHT have been/done that in the past, that is not who/what you are now! Be proud of the transition you've gone through - and look good while doing it!


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<-- Make sure you take a look-see at my other lessons off to the left :)

Lesson #88 - It Is Always Best To Keep Things Professional

So, remember yesterday when I said that The Babe went to stay with my parents for a week (read all about it - here)?? Well, the plan was for me to drive down to my parents' place the following Friday after work, because my mom was heading out of town on Saturday and couldn't take The Babe with her. So drive down I did...which, surprisingly, didn't take very long (thank goodness!).

Since I don't get to make it home all that often, I decided to phone a friend :) You know her as Jen from The Tennysons Today...but to me, she is a life-line. In high school we may have played different sports, hung out with different crowds, been in different classes and lived in different areas...but once we both got pregnant and figured out our wee-ones would be born within about a week of each other (they are 6 days apart) then we became each others sanity!

Together we started our own mommy-focused book club. We would read articles or books and then get on Instant Messenger the following day at work and talk about the great advice we read the day before. It was great having someone who could relate to me when I said I, literally, didn't sleep a wink the night before!

In any case...I sent a text and wouldn't you know it - my good pal and her son were available for dinner on Saturday - YAY!! So I packed up The Babe and all of her gazillion things - loaded everything into the car - and off we went to Bob Evans (look, there aren't many choices back where I come from...don't judge!). We got there at the same time and were seated in seconds. The kiddos got plopped into high chairs and we started chatting about everything and anything - politics, jobs, the kids, life - and then our waitress came to our table.

Of course we hadn't even begun to look at our menus since we were too busy talking...so we just ordered drinks. Here is where we started to get peeved. When our waitress - we'll call her Jody - walked up, she commented on how cute our kids are...and they really are...but that is besides the point. Jody, after taking our drink orders, asked if we wanted anything for the wee ones. The kids already had bottles out, table covers stuck down and snacks in hand...they were happy campers. So, of course, we would reply that while we appreciated her effort - we didn't need anything for the kids.

So, we keep talking and Jody comes back with our drinks...and a few unsavory comments. Jody happens to mention that she also has a child - a little girl...now, Jody isn't a small person - oh no - she is large and IN charge...which is fine...but then she goes on to say that her daughter is such a little stick child who won't eat, blah, blah, blah, blah...lady, I didn't come here to talk to YOU! If I wanted to know about your personal life, I would have asked! Now take our orders and LEAVE!

Oh no...she stayed...in fact, she went on to ask if Jen and I were friends - which, we are - and if we had been pregnant at the same time - which, we were - and then things went downhill...QUICKLY! Jody looks at us, in the face, and says while she was pregnant she got a call from her "bestest friend in the whole wide world" who proceeded to say, "You know how whenever something bad happens to you, then something bad happens to me? Well, I'm pregnant now."

I'm sorry...what???

Did you just say that you getting pregnant was a bad thing?

Are you implying that my baby was a mistake?

I'm sorry, Jody, if you weren't completely THRILLED when you got pregnant...that is a shame...I, on the other hand, was besides myself. So, it sucks that you had a crappy experience - probably because yo baby daddy wasn't in the picture for more than that one night and your parents threw you out of the house when you were 18 - but cry me river!! Jen and I got pregnant by surprise - that is for sure - but we wouldn't change any of it for anything in the world!!

Jen and I finished dinner without any other comments from Jody...but it was all I could do to not climb over The Babe in her high chair and beat the crap outta that lady!!
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<-- Make sure you take a look-see at my other lessons off to the left :)

Lesson #87 - Be Thankful For A Break

A few weeks ago The Man thought he had to go out of town for his job. There was a trip scheduled for a week that would take him to who-knows-where overseas. So, I decided to ask my parents if they could take The Babe for that week while The Man was gone. Of course my mom was crazy-excited (yes, that is the technical term) and was probably jumping up-and-down on the other end of the phone while talking to me about it.

The trip ended up getting canceled at the last minute, but I still thought it would be a good idea for my parents to take The Babe...because The Man and I needed some "us" time...and the job stress was really getting to me. So a break was a nice prospect to put us back in the right mind-set.

So, not this past Sunday, but the one before my parents made the trip over here to attend one of The Babe's swim lessons (further discussion on that to come). Anyways, after the lesson we all went out for lunch at this GREAT little Mexican place down the street. After lunch, we packed up The Babe and all of her gagillion toys/diapers/wipies/solid foods/and every other thing that a wee one needs to travel (which is WAY more than I have time to list) and off she went with my parents...YAY!

I truly am thankful to my parents for giving The Man and I a whole week to ourselves. It was nice to get home and take a nap without worrying when The Babe was going to wake up hungry - or how long play time should last. We were able to go to dinner one night, watch a movie another night and just learn to relax. It seems like life just keeps going at break-neck speeds once kiddos come into the picture. So, thanks Mom and Dad for taking care of The Babe!!
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<-- Make sure you take a look-see at my other lessons off to the left :)

Lesson #86 - Run While You Can {Wordless Wednesday}

So...I have been promising The Princess a nakie picture for quite some time now...and I wanted to share it with you all!!

LOL!! Someone got away from me while I was changing her diaper!!

Lesson #68 - Enough {Snow} Is Enough {Wordless Wednesday}

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Just playin with her wipes!

 

Doesn't she look like that poor kid from A Christmas Story?!

 

Sleeping soundly - YAY!

I'm not usually a fan of headbands...but this one ROCKS!!

Lesson #64 - A Birthday Is Just Another Day

That is what I tell myself every year. Okay, so it is my birthday...so what?! I am another year older - waahoo! This year I happen to be half way to 52...SUPER! I digress!! Since everyone loves getting presents...and hopefully you all want to see the presents I got (wink), let us review what I got this year for my birthday (and what I gave to others):

Before going to sleep on Friday night, I thought to myself - my birthday should be a national holiday, darn it...and so - for my name's sake - I figured I'd give a VAST majority of people the most fabulous snow fall they've ever seen...30 inches in my area, of course, so that I could enjoy it as well!

I woke up on Saturday morning and made the man and I breakfast...and what better for a princess's birthday breakfast than pink pancakes?!

After breakfast, it was time to put the babe down for her nap...and she wasn't happy with me at ALL. She ever gave me the stink eye!

I went into the bedroom to chat with the man, while he was getting ready for work, and saw a wonderful card on my side of the bed...

Since I gave everyone snow, I thought I should probably give the man a few helpers to dig him out...he did have to go to work after all!

I can't forget the angry babe that greeted me after her nappy nap...she has not been happy thanks to her first tooth cutting through!

Before her afternoon nap, I thought I would give the babe a wee bit of vodka on her gums...because I couldn't find the Baby Orajel...don't judge - our parents did it to us and we turned out just fine!!

So, in review, I got the following for my 26th birthday:

* Pink Pancakes (YAY)
* Stink Eye (from the babe)
* A Beautiful Card (that made me cry) from The Man
* An angry crying child post-nappy nap

...and I gave the following to those around me (because I'm just THAT damn nice):

* Snow...and not just some piddly snow...I'm talking 30 friggin inches, people!
* Helpers with Dust Pans...to dig out the Hummer!
* Vodka...hopefully The Babe's gums weren't in so much pain after that!

The one thing that I really wanted...but didn't get...a nice juicy STEAK (I promise, there is a grill under there)!!! BOOOOOO!

Lesson #62 - Time Goes Too Fast

Dear The Babe,

How is it that in a mere six months you have gone from this:

to this:

If you don't mind...could you please slow down with the growing thing a little bit, please?? Mommy wants to be able to remember every minute!!

Love You,
Mom

Just For Fun - Post-It Note Tuesday

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Lesson #48 - Hooters Is A Great Birthday Party Location

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**Disclaimer: We were in a non-smoking area of the restaurant...no babies were harmed in the making of this birthday party**

I wanted to post about this particular experience because of The Princess's post from yesterday.

Oh, did I mention this birthday party was for a 7-year-old girl?? Yeah...it ROCKED!! The babe was only a month old. I wanted to get out of the house. One of my friends was having a birthday party for her daughter's 7th birthday on Saturday.

So I packed up the babe the day before and off we went to Toys R Us to find the perfect birthday present. I'm really shocked that I had the presence of mind to get a birthday gift for the poor girl. Anyways, the babe and I finally got the best gift EVER - a Hannah Montana karaoke game that hooks up to the TV...it even came with a wig and sparkly microphone!! Then we stopped at a craft store so I could pick up some cursive-looking stickers to make a birthday card. This is what I came up with finally:

I thought it was pretty damn creative ~ especially since I was still in my postpartum haze!!! Anywho...so, the following day - with baby and very cool gift in hand - I set off to my local Hooters restaurant. Wait. What. Where was I going?? Oh yes, I said Hooters alright!!

My girlfriend is a little rough around the edges - I'll admit - but she makes the most wonderful cakes you've ever tasted!! She made a birthday cake when hubs turned 30 - and found out he was going to be a daddy - and a wedding for our big day!! I'm telling you what...no one can turn a Harvey Wallbanger into a cake like my friend.

Once the babe and I arrived, the birthday girl wanted to hold her. While I was a little cautious about this I agreed. The pink-haired birthday girl took a seat and into her arms went the babe. I was so proud of the shirt the babe was wearing - it said B.Y.O.B (bring your own bottle)...I felt it was appropriate. This is the birthday girl and the babe:

They looked so cute together!!! Everyone else was pretty much there - and no, I wasn't the only one with a baby in tow - so my girlfriend decided it was cake time...before the adults started to dig in without allowing the candles to even be lit! When I saw the cake I really couldn't believe it. Well...you'll see what I mean:

 

In case you can't really make it out - it is a Hooters girl wearing a white shirt. See those boobs?? They look so realistic, don't they?? What, you can't see them?? Here...let me highlight them...

Oh yes, my fine blog-topia followers...those are nipples. Not just any nipples, though, but Hershey Kiss nipples. I didn't believe it when she told me, but those were the birthday girl's idea. Mom was just going to make plain boobs...but no, plain boobs just wouldn't do!

So, you see my friends...Hooters is the perfect location for a 7-year-old's birthday party...if for nothing else than to take pictures which can be used as blackmail later on in your child's life!!!

Lesson #41 - The Babe Only Gets One Container Of Solid Food A Day

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I woke up on Saturday to the babe talking...LOUD...probably saying, "Hey you lazy broad - come and get me so I can get a new diaper and some food...like, yesterday!!!!" One of the best feelings in the world is walking in to get the babe in the morning (or after she wakes from a nap) and seeing her all smiles and giggles...it is indescribable joy! After a quick diaper change (I'm talking under 30 seconds) I take the babe downstairs for some breakfast. The man wasn't too far behind - stumbling down the stairs in despirate need of his morning coffee! A container of peaches was gotten and soon the babe was making quite the mess bathing in her orange drool swallowing mouthfuls of sweet fruit as she looked around the family room. Then, sitting down with his coffee, the man turned on the TV and looked my way,

"You have been doing a lot lately. If you want to go out and run your errands today I will stay home and play with the babe until you get home. Then all of us can put together an early dinner and cuddle in front of a movie."

I'm sorry...what?!?! Did you just offer me a day of running around sans the babe...without having to ask you...AND it was your idea?! "Who are you and what have you done with my husband," I asked the man. He just laughed and insisted I go out and enjoy myself - maybe even get my hair did like I'd been wanting to do for the past few weeks.

After the babe was finished making a mess with her breakfast, I passed her over to the man, made myself presentable, and got out the door. Being without the babe - or the man - is not something that happens often and I was determined to enjoy the day. Off to the salong I went and was happy to find that my stylist was available - and open - right that minute...this IS going to be a good day!! I had a few other errands to run...the usually walking around the mall just to "window shop", stop at Target for toothpaste and deodorant (the folks at work started to complain) and a quick pause at CVS for a prescription refill.

I ended up finishing my running around a bit earlier than expected and I was actually eager to get home to see the babe and the man. I pulled into the house, walked up to the front door, turned my key, walked in and couldn't help myself from saying, "Hi honey, I'm home!" I turned to my left and was greeted by a brown haired woman - I've never seen before - feeding the babe a container of solid food. Looking at her I calmly said, "Who are you and why are feeding my baby solid food?!" I wanted to ask her name, why she was in my home and where my husband was - among other questions - but she didn't look too bright and I wanted to avoid any confusion.

My chin hit the floor when the dumb brunette broad looked at me and said, "What do you mean you're baby? This is my boyfriend's child and it is her dinner-time." It was all I could do to keep my cool (as you can probably imagine)!!! At this point all I could muster was, "The babe already had solid food for breakfast and she can only have one container a day." Just as I finished my statement, the man came waltzing down the stairs. He looked at me, then at the brunette, that at the babe and back at me. Wouldn't you know it...the best he could come up with was, "You've got to be effing kidding me!"

I don't know if she thought it was a good idea to speak at this moment, but the dumb broad looked at the man and said, "This woman just came in and said the babe was her child. I thought you said the front door was locked honey." Yeah, ok...time to teach this biotch a lesson...and not just any lesson, but I was about tograbherhairanddragheraroundtheneighborhoodattachedtothebackofmycar...so that is what I did. Before I knew it, her hair was in my grip and out the front door she went - rolling as she fell down the stairs and off the sidewalk. I turned back to the man and said, "What were you thinking feeding the babe two containers of solid food?!?! You know her tummy can only handle one right now!!"

...then I woke up...

The man started laughing when I finished telling him my dream. He looked at the babe as she giggled and cooed and said to her, "See babe...the moral of the story is that you can only have one container of solid food a day." I could have hit him!! Ugh...men!!

Lesson #28 - Wait Until AFTER The Baby Is Born To Purchase Everything

Once the man and I found out we were having a LITTLE GIRL - all bets were off!! I went out and started buying the cutest little outfits I could find...and there are a TON to choose from! Well, I bought said outfits in size 0-3 month - because that is what "normal" children wear after being born...or so I thought.

I really wish that someone would have said - hey, dumb ass, you might want to wait to see what size your bugger will be and wait until AFTER she is born before going nuts-o with the clothes. If you hadn't guessed - no one said that to me...and I just kept right on buying. Not only that, but we also got some super cute clothes at both of the showers we had...YAY for free clothes (and diapers, and wipes, and furniture, and toys, and...well, you get the idea)!

The babe's birthday was upon us me...FINALLY I would get to dress her in all of those cute adorable (I hate this word...sounds like A Door Bell) friggin fabulous little clothes! I packed her a little "going-home" bag that had my top favorites in the outfit department.

The babe was born and as she was being cleaned up, the man said she looked much smaller than the clothes we bought for her. My ob/gyn opened up betting on how much she weighted before the nurse put her on the scale. We all weighed in (no pun intended) and anxiously watched the scale. Turns out the man was right, on, point...6 pounds, 9 ounces on the nose.

Well, my friends...I'm not sure if you've guessed this yet or not, but the babe was WAY too small for all of those cute clothes. She was forced to wear sport that cute silly awful long-sleeved white shirt with her diaper just hanging out. I couldn't help but think what a terrible mother I was - and the babe was just born! I couldn't even provide her with the fabulously cute clothes that would help her stand out amongst a nursery of lemmings. Whoa was me!!

So, I will definitely be prepared with the next babe. Not sure when that time will come...but I will be ready, darn it! I am going to buy the most fabulous cute little outfit in premie, newborn, 0-3 months...and pray beg plead hope that the next one isn't any bigger than a 3 month old!!

Lesson #27 - Gender Isn't Predictable

When the man and I found out that we were having the babe - I just wanted to go out and buy all of the cutest little outfits...right. that. minute!! The man then reminded me that not only were we unable to find out what we were having yet - though he SWORE it would be a boy (because the men in his family have all had boys) - but we'd also get a lot of stuff at the baby showers we would have. Ok, ok, ok...fine...take away my fun!! Seeing as I didn't want all green and yellow items - we would definitely be finding out what we were having as. soon. as. possible.

At our 14 week sono, the tech said that while she couldn't be certain, she was going to guess that the babe was a boy. This was music to the man's ears...seeing as he said from day one that the babe would be a boy. The tech started laughing b/c the man was so excited and then said she wanted to see if she was right - so she'd try to be our tech at 20 weeks (when they can actually tell what you're having)...but the man just knew it was a boy.


Our 20 week appointment came sooner than expected and boy were we ready (no pun intended)!! The man was in a suit that day - though I can't remember why - and I was dressed nice for work. We got to the sono place and checked in - as usual. The same tech from week 14 came out to greet us and took me back so I could put on my oh-so-flattering-very-stylish-blue-and-white-amoeba-pattered-smock. She escorted me to the exam room where the man was so excited he was about to fall out of the chair.

The exam began like normal...arms - check...legs - check...head - check...yeah, things looked as normal as they CAN look at this stage of the game. The time finaly came and she asked if we wanted to know...I'm pretty sure the man was screaming yes before she even finished her sentence. The tech was fumbling around - trying to find the gender (the babe was a modest babe...didn't want to play along)...and suddenly her eyes got big as she stuttered - looks like I was wrong.

I couldn't help but laugh. My poor hubs, who has always wanted his first to be a boy, did fall out of his chair at the thought of having a little girl. From the floor all I heard was the man yell that he wanted a second opinion. Figures he would say that!! So the tech finished up and brought in the doctor on call...and sure enough - LITTLE GIRL!!

As we're sitting in the car driving home the man started cursing his uncle - who he just remembered had a girl - and said that he wouldn't believe it until the babe came out. I think he is still in denial some days...but the babe definitely has daddy wraped around her little finger - as it should be!!

Lesson #22 - People, Especially Strangers, Have No Shame (Part II)

Okay...for those of you who missed Part I in this series of posts, please take a peak here (written yesterday). Those of you who read that post already - HORRAY!! You can now move on to Part II. Again, true story(ies)!!

3. The man and I were walking around the mall. Not because we wanted to shop, but because I HAP to get out of the house and walk around...and in the middle of summer, I also wanted air conditioning. The mall seemed like a logical choice seeing as there are groups of 60+ individuals EVERY. WHERE. who mall walk in the mornings...so it has to be a good idea, right?! Anyways, so we;re walking around the mall and going in and out of the stores. Again, not because we were actually going to BUY anything, but because it added to the enjoyment of said walk. So, we go into this store that sell painting prints - and some very nice ones, I might add. The sales rep approached the man and I asking if we needed any help. We politely declined and she happened to see the babe - wide-eyed - in her carrier. She made some cooing sounds and asked how old she was - to which I replied, "only 3 weeks old." The rep looked up at me and - without missing a beat said, "Oh, well she is absolutely adorable. Do you know what you're having next?" I'm sorry?! Next?! Do you now something I don't?? Is there some sign above my head that says - currently pregnant?? No. No there is not. Look Ms. Painting Sales Rep...I know you are 5 foot 10 and weigh only 100 pounds, but when women get pregnant they do this little thing called GAIN WEIGHT! I realize that this is a hard concept for you to grasp, but you really should read up on manners before just spouting garble!! Not to mention, DO. THE. MATH. If the babe is 3 weeks old...what makes you think I could be pregnant - and showing - again so quickly?!?! Ugh!!!

4. The man had gone back to work and I wanted to go to the grocery store. I put the babe - wrapped in her blanket and all - in her car seat and drove to the store. We don't live in the middle of nowhere...the grocery store is maybe 5 minutes from our house...so it didn't take long to get there. I pulled out the stroller and wheel it over to the passenger door. As I'm pulling the babe out of the car, a woman - who had just parked - was getting out of her car. Mind you, it is July/August...it is hot, humid and I'm cranky. She comments on how beautiful the babe is (why is it that everyone starts unwanted advice with how pretty the babe is??) and then proceeds to tell me that she shouldn't be taken out of the house yet. Okay...maybe if it was the DEAD of winter, I could see that a 3-4 week old really shouldn't be taken out in the elements...but in the summer, really?? If only this woman knew that the SAME DAY we were discharged from the hospital, we had errands to run and things to purchase...and we took the babe with us! UGH!!

Lesson #21: The Definition Of "Cool" Is Relative

I used to think that I was sooooo cool when I was younger! I still find myself to have a tinge of coolness left in me. I have worked in the bar industry and used to know everyone by name on a Saturday night. That is how one makes money, after all...by making friends. I have done my share of oratory contests - and won, I might add - in front of a panel of judges. When I was in second grade, my teacher swore I would be the first female President (move over Hilary!).

The fact is, I never really did think I was so cool. I would take home every book imaginable from school - beginning in first grade! First grade, people!! I should have been going out to play after school - not worrying about 4th grade math! Then in high school I was a cheerleader, but I wasn't considered one of the pretty girls. I never would have dreamed of becoming Homecoming Queen or being named Most Popular by the yearbook staff.

Sure I was a member of a sorority in college, but those girls were more like my family...which is funny because I don't talk to many of them anymore. I gave up cheerleading to pursue my degree and just get the heck out of school!! I was not only carrying MORE than a full course-load each semester, but also working a full-time job. I was in such a rush to grow up that I forgot to live my life for the moment. I was cool to the only person who mattered - me.

Now, as an "adult", I am still keeping the same jam-packed schedule. I have traded in a full-time class schedule for a full-time work schedule and a full-time work schedule for full-time mommyhood PLUS full-time wifeyhood PLUS full-time housekeeperhood PLUS...well, you get the picture.

Mingling in bars dressed in short skirts and crop tops to make a lousy buck has been replaced with dancing around in my bra and undies trying to make the babe laugh - mommy would even settle for a smile!

Where I was once staying up all night to cram for an exam...I am not staying up all night to rock the babe to sleep...not because she is fussy, but because I just don't want to put her down and miss a minute!

Days of attending frat parties and puffy paint parties (for those of you who don't know - this is where all attendees wear white t-shirts and draw on each other with various colors of the silly raised paint of fun) have been pushed aside with nights of cuddling on the couch with the man in front of a good movie or funny TV show.

The ones I thought were "cool" back in the day aren't as cool as I thought they were. As long as the babe is healthy and the man is fed - I am the "cool" one. Honestly...I wouldn't trade ANY of it for the world. I am truly blessed!

Lesson #19 - Excuses Are a Necessity

Hmmm...an excuse you say?? Well, I got the babe to write something for me today...sorry if it is difficult to read, she is only 4 months, you now! (PS...to read about the incident described, click here). Without further ado...my excuse:

Lesson #18 - Accidents Can Happen To Anyone...At Anytime

I am writing this after breathing a HUGE sigh of relief. I just got home from the emergency room, where I went with the man and the babe.

The babe had been fussy all afternoon/night. At around 6p the man and I gave her a bit of Tylenol because it felt like she was getting hot and fever = no good for kiddos. We fed her a bottle, burped her, changed her and put her down for bed around 9p. The man and I were just about to watch a movie (side note: we just bought The Proposal - on sale for $3 at one of the many Black Friday sales we pillaged) when we heard the babe crying. Knowing that she wasn't feeling well, I thought it would be good to bring her down and cuddle while watching the movie. The man went up to get her and I went into the kitchen to get something to drink. As I was coming out of the kitchen, I heard a loud thump and the man say, "Whoooooaoh shit!"

Much to my horror, the man had slipped and fallen down the stairs!! His foot slipped from under him and he landed on his back/butt - sliding down a few stairs at the bottom. I look to the stairs, see the babe laying face down on the landing and then hear a cry I hope to never hear again (though I know I will). As the man was sliding, he accidentally dropped the babe. She slid down his chest and onto the carpeted floor.

Now, in the man's defense, it wasn't his fault. It could have happened to anyone (yes, even perfect me) at any time.

He scooped up the babe and rocked her. The man was covered in dust (I know, I know...I need to vacuum) and was trying to keep himself together. I ran over and we both tried to comfort the babe...knowing that she was mostly scared/tired and hopefully not hurt. After a solid 10 minutes of crying, she just stopped and fell asleep in my arms. To be sure she was okay, we decided to go to the emergency room - just in case.

We arrived in the most quiet ER I have ever visited - thankfully. We were checked in and admitted within minutes (not the hours I was used to from my youth) and finally seen by a doctor. The babe turned out to be the talk of the ER and all the nurses (even the male EMS tech) LOVED her. The babe was all smiles until the doctor took her.

In the end the babe came out with only a little bump on her head and a bruise on her shoulder.The man felt terrible and I tried to reassure him that it could have happened to me too. My nerves were on the fritz for a bit, but I think I'm okay now. Call me overprotective - call the ER trip an extreme measure - say what you will. I'm just glad that the babe is okay!!

**UPDATE: I forgot the BEST part of all!! So, we're sitting in room number 10 waiting for the doctor. He finally comes in after a few minutes and asks - again - what happened. The man and I go through the story...she slid down the man's chest, tumbled over 1 or 2 stairs and landed on the landing on her face. The doctor just looked at us and said, "I dropped my daughter too...she flew 5 feet...kids are resilient, you know." Good grief!! Here I thought they were going to call child services on us...now I definitely feel better about my parenting skills. Sheeeesh!