When the man and I first found out we were pregnant (to read the story, please go here), we went out and bought a plethora of books on the topic. We got everything from pregnancy timelines and what the heck is happening to my body - those were for me. We also got a few on being a daddy for idiots and what the heck is happening to your wife's body - those were for the man. I think the only ones we did not purchase were the name-related ones...icanpickacreativenamewithoutastinkinbookthankyouverymuch! If you've never been pregnant or even if you have been, but decided to forgo the books - let me just tell you this...these books include EVERYTHING!! By everything, I mean...well...every. single. thing.
The topics that were covered ranged from, "how is it possible to gain 10 pounds in one week" to "". There was a small section, not even a whole chapter, hidden in the bowels of one of these sacred books. As I'm reading this section - which was more of a side note, really - I couldn't help but laugh. It was about the gall that strangers possess and their propensity for diarrhea of the mouth (for more of that, read this) around pregnant women. Below is my list of things to avoid saying/doing around pregnant women because they all happened to me...and I wanted to punch someone - true story(ies).
1. Do not ask about breast feeding. Okay...so I'm standing in line at the grocery store with the babe - who is a mere three weeks old at this point. After putting all of my groceries on the belt, the cashier starts this small talk bit about the babe. I'm all about answering questions about how big she was when she was born or how long he was in labor. However, when it comes to feeding...I'm not so quick to respond. "Are you breast or bottle feeding," the cashier asks...seriously?!?! NOTE. TO. ALL. The bottle or breast question to a stranger is NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS. Just saying!!
2. On another trip I was holding the babe. Yes - she was wearing a short sleeve onesie. Yes - she was wearing a thin pair of pants. Yes - she had only been on the planet for about five weeks. Keep in mind, though, that I had pulled her out of her carrier and had a blanket wrapped around her. A woman comes up to me in the milk aisle and comments on how beautiful the babe is. I thanked her graciously and the made another comment on her blue eyes (the babe does have the most mesmerizing blue eyes). Again, I thanked her. Then...out of NO. WHERE. she looks at me and says "that babe is far too young to be out of the house. Here is where my next note comes in...rearing of children today is NOT the same as it was when we were kids...so BACK. OFF!!!