Tuesday, February 16

Lesson #70 - Being Single Is A Bitch...Then Again, So Am I

Okay friends...my Blogger totally f-ed me and I didn't even know it!!! My laptop died (I mean, hardcore D-E-D DEAD) , but before it went out I had quite a few posts planned (minus the one where I chose a giveaway winner because, duh, I had to wait until Sunday). However, for some reason the posts never posted :-( **tears** Anyways, here is the long awaited guest post from - THE BITCH!!!!! So, kick up your feet folks - here she goes.......

-I recently found myself turning to a close friend and firmly stating, "The next person to make a comment in regards to my relationship status is going to find my foot up their ass."  Unfortunately, Working Mommy was almost that person.  (Again, Dearest Friend, I apologize.)  But, seriously: Why is it such a big deal that I'm 25 and single?  I have a good job, I'm in school studying Business Law, I have an amazing circle of friends, my family is fantastic, I'm in good shape, my health is fabulous... It is really necessary for me to have a man in order to lead a complete life when I'm not even 30 yet?!  Me thinks not.

-While I am quite happy with my life as it is at the moment, I do often find myself a bit sad when put into a certain situation.  For those of us who have spent extended periods of time living the single life, we all know what that situation is: being the third or fifth wheel.  Ugh.  I just cringed a bit.  Don't get me wrong, I have a couple friends with whom I can have a total blast with when their significant other is around.  Working Mommy has landed an amazing husband who I absolutely adore and I always have fun with the two of them.  [*Correction: Working Mommy's husband has landed an amazing woman.]  However, I also have friends who know exactly how to make me feel uncomfortable when their partner is around.  I know it's bad when I realize that I am physically restraining myself from running toward the door.  No, I don't think your boyfriend is the most amazing man in the world.  No, I don't care about what the two of you did last weekend.  Stop rubbing his back.  Stop holding hands.  Stop caressing his knee.  Stop running your fingers through his hair.  "Please excuse me, I need to make my way to the nearest restroom, as I suddenly feel the urge to vomit."

-On that note, I completely understand how a gal is when she's head-over-heels for the man in her life.  I've been there (believe it or not).  You want to talk about him all the time.  You want to spend every free second of your day with him.  You greatly anticipate the next time you'll hear his voice.  You get giddy at the thought of making plans to go on a vacation.  I totally get it.  However, it IS okay to spend time with your friends... ready for this?... away from you boyfriend.  GASP!  He doesn't have to tag along for everything.  I promise: you won't forget how to breathe when he's not around.

-Now on to the dating dilemma.  Yes: I have tried the whole online-match-me-with-my-perfect-soul-mate thing.  Maybe I'm just impatient, but it was unsuccessful.  After several awkward and/or boring first dates, I became apprehensive and soon stopped replying to messages.  Wait, I take that back... One lucky man made it to date #3.  Then quickly became obsessive/stalkerish.  (Side note to the male followers: When a woman says she doesn't like getting flowers because they're too showy, don't insist on sending a dozen  embarrassing roses to her place of employment.  It's not a good idea and will quickly backfire.  However, arriving to pick her up with a few simple daisies: adorable and sweet.)  Then there are those guys who are friends of friends of someone's second cousin.  Set me up on a blind date with a guy named Maynard? Sure, that sounds like a brilliant idea.  And when the date ends horribly, I'm supposed to apologize for it not working out with so-and-so's coworker's dog sitter?!  Um, no.  Sorry your friend's a loser, but I refuse to feel bad because you have inadequate match-making skills.  (I once went on a date with a die-hard liberal.  For those who know me: REALLY bad idea.)  Then there are the bar-pick-ups.  When we first meet, we have a fantastic time and think it'll be a brilliant idea to exchange numbers.  On the first actual date, we both quickly realize that it isn't going anywhere unless the waiter brings us three rounds of shots.  Pronto!

-At this point, I'm just venting my frustrations.  I know I won't be single for the rest of my life.  I'm just getting impatient.  Damnit!  But let's face it: When your friends have significant others, you hate your single life and feel overwhelmingly lonely.  Then, when you find yourself a year into a relationship, you secretly long for those nights out as a single gal.  The grass is always greener on the other side... And there are very few weeds.

15 comments:

CalgaryDaddy said...

Lol...Great Post! Sometimes people will never be happy! Single or Married, if you are miserable to begin with, nothing will change!

Shane
www.calgarydaddy.com

Loving Wife, Working Mom said...

Bitch away, Girlfriend!!! Never settle! Now you know what you want, and you should GET what you want. After all you ARE someone's I'm-not-settling-for-less-than-her person. Keep rocking!

Daffy said...

It's amazing to me how so many people just never learn that the grass is almost NEVER greener on the other side!

great post!

Hissyfits & Halos said...

I was wondering where you have been! I've been all lonely! ;)

That was a great post. I had a conversation with my DH's best bud this weekend about this topic, when he was so discouraged about spending V'tines alone. I'll tell you the same thing....
Now, I'm not a Bible thumper, by any means. But I do believe that our lives are already planned by God. The time that we have to wait for that perfect person is merely preparation time that God is using to create that perfect mate for you. We're expected to be patient. Your time will come, for now, enjoy being 25. :) The perfect lawn comes with a lot of care and patience. Lots of patience, where my husband is concerned! ;)

Lisa said...

Dear The Bitch...do you have a blog I can read on a regular basis and can we be friends. This was very refreshing to read!

Anti-Supermom said...

Glad you wrote it, even if you feel bitchy because a million people feel the same way.

Great post~

Jesslyn said...

LOL! Great post! I've been there (also suffered through a 2-hour date with a holier-than-thou liberal!) and thanks to having been there, I appreciate my husband and married life so much more. I also appreciate my girl time for the break it gives from house & kids.

WhisperingWriter said...

Bitch away! I agree, you should never settle.

And I agree, you shouldn't do everything with your mate. I need space from my husband. But I have met wives who were all, "Oh, I can't be apart from my man for more than a few hours or I feel EMPTY." I'm all, "Gag me."

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Trust me! It would be better to wait for the right one than to hurry up and marry the next one to happen along. I didn't get married until I was 26. Of course we dated for 6 years...but whatever. ;)

Have you tried eHarmony? My friend did it and found her husband on the first and only date. Two kids and 7 years later, they are still a perfect match. Their matching process is supposed to be a lot more thorough. Also, are you open a divorced man in his late 30's who is a very successful business man? If so, I love to play Cupid. (My prince hates when I do it though.)

Chelle said...

Love this post--I totally remembering all of those feelings...

I missed you to pieces!!

Stupid blogger has been screwing up big time for me. Ugh.

Missed you!

xo

Ian said...

Ok your blog kicks ASS. I'm one of those 90210 watching Tribe members of Darla, and had to check you out.

Following along. Hell, I would have followed if you were a axe murderer. Darla's recommendation was enough for me :)

Ian @ thedailydoseofreality.blogspot.com

Alyssa said...

You're right about grass being greener. That having been said, I know it's not easy for you being single. I especially like The Princess of Sarcasm's comment...and Hissyfits&Halos, too. Keep the faith, bitch, and keep the "bitchiness" too. Doesn't it seem like the bitches always get what they want???

Keep us posted.

Mrsblogalot said...

Awesome vent!!!! Feel better? Enjoy all of your fabulous singleness and try to stay clear of the friends caught up in the honeymoon phase (they will come back down to earth sooner or later) (-:

Sara said...

ha!! Just found your blog from Hissyfits & Halos. So glad that I did!

Baby Sweetness said...

I love it! Does she have a blog?

I agree that I hate when people are more concerned with your dating status than ANYTHING else about you! It's obnoxious! Like it matters in your 20's! You are a person first if you happen to be partnerless.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that single can be a choice as well - for life. Not everyone is meant to be married and that doesn't mean you have to be a nun. Until I met my husband, I really thought the single life was for me. Sure, I dated. But I had no expectations of something more and was really happy with me as me. It always annoyed me when people told me that they were sad for me that I didn't "have someone." I wasn't sad for me! I had a lot of someones in wonderful close friends and family.

OK, rant over.

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