Dear Egg Donor,
I must have written this letter to you at least a dozen times. I wasn't even sure I should send you anything since I didn't know if you ever wanted to hear from me again. It has been quite a few years since we spoke on the phone, so I thought it was best for me to let you know what has been going on. I didn't come to this decision lightly and asked advice from my best friend, my Mother. You see, she is the woman who helped me through the rough times...and she is the one who made all my boo-boos better...and somehow she had the strength to advise me on how to go about contacting you again. That is the reason she holds the distinct honor of Mother.
When we spoke, I was a freshman in college. Always wanting to push forward, I ended up graduating in 3 years instead of 4 - or more like some students. Not only was I a full-time student, but I was also working full time. I didn't have to do it, but it built character and gave me my strong work ethic - something I can also credit to my Father.
Right before graduation, I purchased a townhouse to call my own - not too far from my college campus. I knew all of my working would pay off eventually! I wanted to stay in the area for work and renting would have cost much more a month. I still own it and even though it has become more of a burden than anything, it is still mine. Right now it is being rented by 3 young ladies who go to my alma mater...thankfully they are taking good care of the place!
During college I joined a sorority and realized my love for event planning. I met a woman who has turned out to be a wonderful friend and mentor. She is a small business owner and inspired me to do my own thing...which lead me to start my own event planning business. For the past 10 years I have been fortunate enough to do what I love and get paid to do it.
On January 31, 2009 I married the love of my life and my best friend. He is a wonderful husband - I am very blessed. Being a wedding planner gave us the ability to hire professionals who I had worked with before - and who had become personal friends to mine. It was definitely a day that I will never forget.
Later that year we welcomed our beautiful princess into the world! At 6lbs 10oz, she was such a little peanut - and still is, even days after turning 2 years old. She is extremely active and keeps me on my feet! {Lulu} loves being outside riding her bike or coloring with chalk on the sidewalk. When she was younger we took a "mommy and me" swim class...and boy does she love the water! Whether it is a bath or in the lake, she gets equally as excited. Now that she is older, she is getting into different activities. We just finished an 8-week session of gymnastics classes. Hopefully next year she'll be old enough to start cheerleading. She has the attitude to follow in my footsteps (I cheered all through school for 10+ years and then professionally for 3 years)!
This past December our family welcomed another addition - our handsome prince. His face looks just like mine as a baby - reddish hair and all! He is the opposite of his "little" big sister. {Bubba} was born at 8lbs 9oz - almost 2lbs heavier! We are certain he will take after his daddy and be a football player! I'm sure once he gets a little older, he can take a "daddy and me" class like his sister did with me. Him and his sister get along so well - it bring a tear to my eye and a smile on my face to watch them interact with each other. Days away from 8 months old, his Baptism will be this Sunday and he is growing more each day. Already cruising from couch to table and climbing up the stairs, he doesn't cease to amaze me!
Right now I am working for the CEO of a small business a few days a week. He is an amazing boss and we get along very well. It is nice to be able to work part-time so I can still spend plenty of time with the kids. {Lulu} can count to 10 now - forward and backward - and {Bubba} is babbling away trying to keep up with his sister.
So you see, a lot has happened in the years since we've spoken. It was hard not to call you back again, but the road goes both ways. You can't just pick up the phone and expect to call yourself "mom" - that isn't how this works. You said a lot of things - some of them were very hurtful. I'm sorry that you and your sister lost your mother, but making me feel guilty for not finding you before she passed won't bring her back. Also, just for future reference, telling me that your sister and your mother had gotten mad with you for giving me up isn't going to make me feel sorry for your situation.
In a way, I'm glad we are on opposite coasts. It makes it much more difficult for you to find me...and I like it that way. I've come a long way from where I used to be, emotionally, to where I am now. There were a lot of high points and an equal number of low points. I have made it through life - thus far - with only minor bruises along the way. My heart is still in tact and my spirit is a strong part of my hard-headed will to move on.
Don't apologize for giving me up...your words will fall on deaf ears.
Don't give praise for the highs in my life...praise is reserved for the friends and family who love me.
Don't feel sorry for the lows in my life...those feelings have no merit to me.
I didn't write this for you...I wrote this for me. I wanted to be able to tell you...show you...that life does go on. What happened all those years ago means nothing to me now. I still think about you every now and again, but I have my own life and that is where we stand. If it makes you feel better to call yourself "mom" or "mother" that is up to you. I know what it takes to earn that title. I have seen others, in the news - in my neighborhood - in the paper - on the Internet, who hold the title, but have nothing to show for the "work" they claim they've done. I can promise that you have not earned the title - not with me, not in my eyes...you will only ever be egg donor to me.
Signed,
Moved On
