Tuesday, April 6

Lesson #92 - Being Observant Can Save Your Life

Whenever I need a good laugh - or a lesson on what goes on at an inner city school - I head on over to Daffy's pond over at Batcrap Crazy. I can only imagine how she handles marriage, motherhood and dealing with her asshat co-workers...oh, wait...I don't HAVE to imagine!! I can just READ about it! So, sit back and relax while adult-Daffy tells a story about how she learned how to be an observant parent from grade school-Daffy!

“…mom we did some cool experiments in Science today.

Glad you had a good day Daffy.

Here is a paper describing how to do it at home. It was really easy to do at school do you think I could try it again tonight? (which was a total lie. We DID NOT try the experiment at school. It was dangerous.)

Sure. After dinner.”

So fast forward through dinner and cleaning up because I'm sure somehow my sisters made sure I was on dish duty that night. Every one was busy elsewhere in the house. Mom set me up with a small sauce pan and the corn starch the experiment required. I was in 6th grade after all; totally competent to handle myself at the stove.

A little cornstarch in the bottom of the pan…..low heat….it removes the moisture in the starch. I expertly wiggled the pan now and again to prevent burning. That would come later; the burning.

Sufficient time for the moisture to cook away and then I moved to stage two. At the island was three lovely pieces of construction paper laid out awaiting their line. With the deft skill of a 6th grade perfectionist I lined out the cornstarch on center of each piece which was then rolled into straw like tubes.

Step three required a lighter and some blowing power. Step 3 on the worksheet says to be sure that nothing flammable is in your work area and to be sure there is adult supervision. WHATEVER.

I pick up my first rolled tube of moisture free corn starch and instead of blowing I end up sucking. Hey, it could happen to anyone so shutyerpiehole. After chugging some Gatorade (the old school kind…you know, the orange powder mix) I pick up my awesome tubular mega straw number 2.

Flick the Bic

Flame roaring at the end of my fully extended right arm, I take a deep breath before putting my lips to the tube and blow…


Shooting flames come roaring out as the cornstarch meets flame and it is the COOLEST FREAKIN' THING I'VE EVER SEEN JUST LIKE SPECIAL EFFECT EXPLOSIONS IN THE MOVIES! I'm screaming out of excitement and the smoke alarm is screaming out of fear. My mother rushes in to find her refrigerator torched black.

It was white.

Now black.

Mother sorta freaked out. Once all the screeching stopped (including the fire alarm and my sisters) I realized there was still one tube left. My mother realized she should've looked at the experiment paper first.

As a parent I will be very diligent in looking over all papers that come home with my child!


Christina Lee said...

LOL!!! Um, yeah me too! Thanks for the reminder!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I kinda feel like a mean parent, because I usually say no to real or invented science experiments in my kitchen. But then again, maybe I've been right all along.

Anonymous said...

Some things need to stay where they belong...like school...?

Daffy said...

A million thanks for the opportunity to share my lesson today!

Salt said...

YESSSSSS. I LOVE this story!!

Ed said...


Nice. Redoing mom's appliances old school style.

I love that crazy Duck.

Mae Rae said...

I love stories like this. Growing up in our house was always fun. I check EVERY "experiment" that comes home.

WhisperingWriter said...



Daffy always makes me smile.

Two Normal Moms said...

LMAO!!!!! Too funny!


Jennifer said...

Great story! Now why did I never have any school classes with fun experiments like that?

Erin said...

I am far too much of a fraidy cat to attempt anything like this myself....but worried about my kiddos. OMG! my mom would have freaked out about the fridge!

Tracie said...

My kids do science experiments all summer long. 43 more days of school. Better increase the homeowner's coverage.

Michelle Pixie said...

Dying! We haven't reached the science experiments stage yet but now I am going to be ubber aware of what may be taking place in the kitchen. Hahahahahaha

Baby Sweetness said...

Awesome. Is it sad that I want full instructions to try this?!?

Margaret said...

I am going to try this!!!!!! It sounds like a great thing!

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