Whenever I need a good laugh - or a lesson on what goes on at an inner city school - I head on over to Daffy's pond over at Batcrap Crazy. I can only imagine how she handles marriage, motherhood and dealing with her asshat co-workers...oh, wait...I don't HAVE to imagine!! I can just READ about it! So, sit back and relax while adult-Daffy tells a story about how she learned how to be an observant parent from grade school-Daffy!
“…mom we did some cool experiments in Science today.
Glad you had a good day Daffy.
Here is a paper describing how to do it at home. It was really easy to do at school do you think I could try it again tonight? (which was a total lie. We DID NOT try the experiment at school. It was dangerous.)
Sure. After dinner.”
So fast forward through dinner and cleaning up because I'm sure somehow my sisters made sure I was on dish duty that night. Every one was busy elsewhere in the house. Mom set me up with a small sauce pan and the corn starch the experiment required. I was in 6th grade after all; totally competent to handle myself at the stove.
A little cornstarch in the bottom of the pan…..low heat….it removes the moisture in the starch. I expertly wiggled the pan now and again to prevent burning. That would come later; the burning.
Sufficient time for the moisture to cook away and then I moved to stage two. At the island was three lovely pieces of construction paper laid out awaiting their line. With the deft skill of a 6th grade perfectionist I lined out the cornstarch on center of each piece which was then rolled into straw like tubes.
Step three required a lighter and some blowing power. Step 3 on the worksheet says to be sure that nothing flammable is in your work area and to be sure there is adult supervision. WHATEVER.
I pick up my first rolled tube of moisture free corn starch and instead of blowing I end up sucking. Hey, it could happen to anyone so shutyerpiehole. After chugging some Gatorade (the old school kind…you know, the orange powder mix) I pick up my awesome tubular mega straw number 2.
Flick the Bic
Flame roaring at the end of my fully extended right arm, I take a deep breath before putting my lips to the tube and blow…
Shooting flames come roaring out as the cornstarch meets flame and it is the COOLEST FREAKIN' THING I'VE EVER SEEN JUST LIKE SPECIAL EFFECT EXPLOSIONS IN THE MOVIES! I'm screaming out of excitement and the smoke alarm is screaming out of fear. My mother rushes in to find her refrigerator torched black.
It was white.
Mother sorta freaked out. Once all the screeching stopped (including the fire alarm and my sisters) I realized there was still one tube left. My mother realized she should've looked at the experiment paper first.
As a parent I will be very diligent in looking over all papers that come home with my child!