Friday, January 8

Lesson #43 - Other Drivers SUCK

**Don't forget to enter my giveaway HERE...or click on the "Get Rewarded" button for other giveaway information!!**
 

**Please note - the license plate numbers have NOT been changed to protect the guilty...I'm calling people out today!**

Dear Mr. Black BMW Z4 Driver (license plate JMT 8608),

I understand that you have places to see and people to do, but it is not my fault that you chose to drive in the right lane. You see, the right lane is for those individuals - like your mother - who consistently drive 30 miles under the speed limit, pump their brakes whenever possible and cross 6 lanes of highway traffic to get off at the left-handed exit.

Why, then, should I be punished for your inability to chose the correct lane?!?!I know that your rear-view mirrors are quite small...but they still work, I promise!! Next time, when you're about to change lanes - LOOK IN THEM DAMN IT!!!! Thankfully I was able to hit my brakes right before you took off some of the paint on the front passenger side of my car - and before I took off the entire driver side of your car.

I would have thought that someone in a car that small would realize that a little more caution needs to be taken when around much larger cars...apparently, I was wrong. I do ask that, next time, you getyourobamastickerliberalassoutofmygodforsakenway!!! Next time, I'll be driving the man's Hummer...and I can definitely promise no mercy!!

Sincerely,
Pissed Off SUV Driver Who Could Crrrrrush (roll the R's) Your Ass


Dear Mr. Big Brown UPS Truck Driver (license plate 19 MG63),

Like you, I also have places to go and people to do. It surprises me that, despite this fact, you are still driving the way you. I know, I know - that "How is my driving?" sticker on the back of your big brown truck is a way for people like me to call you out - to your superiors - but why do that when I blog?!?!

I can now tell all of my WONDERFUL followers - and anyone else who is bored fabulous enough to read my ramblings that you, sir, are a shit driver. I have been in the car with my share of horrible drivers...and I can only imagine what it might have been like to be driving behind them. Now, thanks to you, I don't have to imagine what that was like.

Even with no one in front of you, for as far as the eye can see, you still feel it necessary to hit the brakes every 5 seconds. Did I happen to mention that you were also driving in the left lane?? If you had to turn left, then okay - I would have understood...but even after I turned left, you continued driving. Just a word of advice, you can actually make deliveries quicker if you only make right turns - which would warrant you staying in the right lane. Honestly...FedEx drivers do it for the holidays to reduce the need to make left turns and cut through traffic. Take a tip from FedEx!!

Sincerely,
Driver Behind You Who Now Has Whiplash


Dear Mr Hybrid Public Transit Driver (license plate 155 781L),

I do respect the fact that the local government has decided to transition all of the old gas-hog buses to more, environmentally-friendly hybrid buses. For once, there is a driver behind the wheel who can actually maneuver such a large vehicle through rush hour traffic without hitting anyone. Kudos to you, sir! Please make sure to thank your boss for making my carbon footprint seem smaller - since yours is not as big anymore.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Whose Mr. Drives A Gas Guzzling, Road Hogging, Big Yellow Mess Of A Hummer

33 comments:

Helene said...

These are awesome letters!! I don't get why truck drivers (or UPS drivers) drive like crap when they have those "how's my driving" stickers on the back of their trucks? Just once I'd love to call that number on that sticker and tell on them!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I am cracking up over the license plate numbers. That is hysterical.

mellisarock said...

HAHHAHAHA!! I love the license plates too!

WhisperingWriter said...

Love these! And I like how you put in the license plate number.

Do you really drive a Hummer? I'd be too scared to drive one of those.

Hissyfits & Halos said...

Haha! Awesome! Living in Dallas, I could write a book about everyone who pissed me off on the roads. Most, though, would be my husband doing the pissing off.

Great post. :)

April said...

Don't hate on the Hummer, now! LOL! We have a black H3 and are saving up for an H2 ... I heart them!!

Vodka Logic said...

I called one of those "how am I driving" numbers and actually got satisfaction. I was a FedEx driver who couldn't read stop signs.

Jennifer said...

Great letters! I hate it when people can't drive, especially those that do it for a living. You would think they would be better at it!

Mrsblogalot said...

Whew! Thank God you missed my plates!!!!

Shell said...

I get serious roadrage from things like that.

Except your last one- too funny!

wines constantly said...

Yes!! Way to call out those dumbasses!

I'm always baffled by commercial drivers who can't seem to understand how to drive. I know from a friend with her CDL that after 2 moving violations, she would lose her license (at least in my state), so why risk your job like that?

Hubs and I once called the state police on a truck that was consistently trying to run us off the highway. The first time, we thought maybe he didn't see us. The second time, it was like WTF. The third time, I was on the phone reporting him. The dispatcher told us to follow him as he tried a couple more times...slowing down and changing lanes to get next to us and then swerving...yeah, right! We pulled over at the next exit and consumed a shit ton of gas station candy. No idea what kind of beef he had with us, but yeesh!

Samantha said...

I should start doing this. People do not know how to drive anymore, and it's scary.

Amanda said...

Amen, sista! I had to drive to work this morning back from my parents place (2 hours in solid traffic, ugh.) and this is EXACTLY how I was feeling with all those morons on the highway. Seriously people, its Friday, lets make it to the end of the week ALIVE.

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

OMG you totally crack me up!

Samantha said...

I've got an award for you over at my place :)

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

guess what?!?!?! You are a CONFESSION HONORABLE MENTION
check it out sister.

blueviolet said...

Do you know how many times I've been tempted to call one of those How Am I Driving numbers? Maybe if we all actually did, things would improve!

Margaret said...

Great letters and I totally agree with you!

Tiffany said...

i'm still dying over the license plates!

Natasha said...

Hehehe~ Love it! Thanks for the laugh, this was great:)

Parenthood For Me said...

Here from SITS. You say what everyone wants to say.

Kat @ measuring my life in l-o-v-e said...

Great letters - I have a couple of these also written. People are complete idiots when it comes to driving. I hope they raise the driving limit by the time my kids are ready to get behind the wheel, although I'm sure they won't be happy about that.

A Diary of Lovely said...

Had a laugh!! great letters!!
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest

Stephanie Faris said...

LOL.

You guys have a hummer? My fiance will be SO jealous. That's his dream car.

I do my best to just not let these crazy drivers get to me. It's hard sometimes, but I feel if I let them ruin my day, they win.

Ms. Sarah said...

I happy saturday. My husband and I are cracking up. We so agree with the ups drivers. stopping in from sits =0)

Laura@Cowboy Boots said...

cute cute blog! Glad i stumbled across you! :o)

Leah said...

Hahaha! Too funny! I LOVE the one about the BMW with the Obama sticker. Hilarious!

The (Un)Experienced Mom said...

LOL!!! That's too funny!

By the way, you won the Fandangling giveaway! So go to www.fandangling.com and pick which one you'd like. Then send me an email with which one and your mailing info, which I will forward on to the company, who will send it to ya!

And I will be working on your post for the 19th during the week! ;-)

Tamara
www.theunexperiencedmom.com

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

I'm gonna go with the wife of the man who has a gas guzzling Hummer!

Yeah....that's how I roll!

ascrapoftime said...

LMAO! I love the BMW one! You would think when someone has a nice expensive car they would take a little precaution to keep it nice!!!

I found your blog on SITS.... love it!!!

Tesa said...

Winter definitely brings out the terrible drivers. I don't know how some people pass their driving tests. It's a little scary out there. I'm hoping some how that all changes by the time my daughter reaches 16 (in 12 years).

Annie said...

i am so glad i hardly ever drive out of the city i live in. idiot drivers tick me off!! i used to have major road rage but riding the bus to work has calmed me down a lot.
take that hummer and run some ass over ;) i would!! ha!

p.s. have a great weekend beautiful lady!!

Melissa B. said...

Oh, don't even get me started on other drivers. Especially in the DC area, it's out of control!

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